We Need To Talk

Those are dreaded words, aren’t they? Don’t worry, I’m not breaking up with you, but we need to have a discussion about control and etiquette.

Over the past couple days I’ve run into a few situations where I could only shake my head and try to be “nice”. Two involved dogs, and two involved kids. Let me caveat this, before I go into detail; I like kids. I’m not one of those trainers that hates children (there seems to be a few of these when reading posts online), in fact, I have one of my own, and he’s pretty ok in my books, albeit, dogs are easier, but I digress.

First we’ll talk about the kids. My dogs like children, so though I’m vigilant, I don’t worry if there are kids around, close to the dogs when I take them out. The first instance, I only had one dog with me and we were passing a group of kids coming home from school. Dog was in heel and we had to pass a group and suddenly a small child screamed at said dog and jumped back. This was a scream so much that you’d think the kid was attacked. Dog looked at me, and kept on walking.

Second instance, same day, about 20 meters down the path, dog still in heel, this time opposite behaviour. Small child making a bee-line for dog (pretty sure this was the same kid that I’ve had to be firm with before), no asking, just heavy eye contact and walking right into her. I say NO to child, do a side switch with the dog so I’m between her and said child, dog looks at me and keeps on trucking along. Parent no where to be seen.

So parents, here’s the thing. You absolutely NEED to teach your children etiquette around dogs and it’s not difficult to do. I get the fact that some kids may be nervous, and that’s totally fine, but you need to guide them on how to react. A scream and flailing away jump around a different dog who hasn’t been socialized could result in a much different ending. There is no need for this reaction. The best reaction to teach is to just be calm and move away, no need for theatrics. Etiquette also extends to “going after” a dog. It is NOT your child’s right to touch or get into the space of dogs on their walks outside. It is no one’s right to do this, and it is an awesome way to get bit. At bear minimum ask politely before any interaction. The best way to deal with it is teaching kids to just ignore dogs outside. Don’t hype them up and make them into this special petting zoo thing that they MUST interact with. I don’t go around touching people on their walks … I’d get arrested. Stop having kids go around and touching all dogs they see. It’s completely unnecessary.

Now we will talk about the dogs. People also need to work on their etiquette and control with their dogs when out and about. I’m not speaking on those trying to work through things and their dogs may be less than perfect. I’m taking about those people who are out to lunch and allow their dogs into other people and dogs spaces with little to no regard for how that other person or dog may be feeling.

First instance, with a client. We were working on some reactivity, saw the dog coming, crossed the road to work/wait them out. Well doesn’t this whole family let their dog pull them across the road to get into our space. We had quite clearly moved away, and these people quite clearly did not read the situation correctly at all … even though the obviousness of it was palpable. I had to get in front of their dog, tell them to go, and they “oh haha’d” and slowly walked off. I really needed a wall to bang my head against at that point … or pepper spray.

Second instance, coming home from a walk, I saw what appeared to be a larger family out for a stroll. Upon getting closer, I realized that the two coming up behind with the dog were not part of the family. These people had come so close to this family, with no attempt to pass them, that their dog, on a flexi, was walking right beside the children, in the midst of the group. The dad didn’t panic, but grabbed the smaller child’s hand and moved him forward, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. They parted ways at the cross walk. You know how you feel when you are standing in line at the grocery story, and that person who has no concept of personal space ends up behind you, or rather, in your back pocket? This is what the family seemed to feel like, and I don’t blame them.

Both of these scenarios are due to ignorance, lack of control and just plain stupidity – sorry, I said it. DO NOT let your dogs enter others spaces who have not invited your dog to do so. And why do you have to walk so close to a stranger that you are practically touching?? Seriously? What actually makes someone think that “oh these people want my dog in their ass” or “oh that dog is freaking out, maybe I should get closer”. How is this even possible? I suppose common sense isn’t so common these days, but wow.

So if you’ve gotten this far with my talk, my point is this; control your kids and control your dogs. It’s not difficult to do. Say no once in a while, use your head, study common sense and have some etiquette when you are out in public. But also, prepare your dogs and your children to handle the stupidity of others outside as well, because no matter how hard I write about this, it is always going to happen, so best be prepared for it.

Now carry on with your day and happy training!